Funny Like a for the New Year
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34 Punny New Year's Jokes To Start off 2022 With the Best Laugh
You'll get plenty of laughs (and a couple of groans) with these jokes.
The best way to begin the New Year is with laughter. After enjoying champagne cocktails and taking Instagram pictures of your New Year's Eve dinner, you're going to want to retell one of these cute jokes. While many of us won't be celebrating with a wild New Year's Eve party this year, you can still send these to your loved ones as a small way to let them know you're thinking about them. After all, laughter really is the best medicine.
Whether you're celebrating at home by watching the all-time best New Year's movies or toasting to new beginnings with friends, these jokes and one-liners are sure to get the "party" going well past midnight, so you can welcome 2022 in the best way. From punny one-liners to dad jokes to classic knock-knock jokes, pull out one of these hilarious jokes for kids and funny sayings for an instant crowd-pleaser (though you'll be sure to get some groans, too).
1 of 34
Why do birds fly south for New Year's Eve?
It's too far to walk.
2 of 34
Not to brag, but I already have a date for New Year's Eve.
It's December 31st.
3 of 34
My New Year's resolution is to stop procrastinating.
But I'll wait until tomorrow to start.
4 of 34
New Year?
I just got used to this last one!
5 of 34
"I promise not to make any bad jokes for the rest of the year."
— A dad on New Year's Eve.
6 of 34
What do you call always wanting a date for New Year's Eve?
Social Security
7 of 34
Why should you put your new calendar in the freezer?
To start off the new year in a cool way.
8 of 34
What does a ghost say on January 1st?
Happy Boo Year!
9 of 34
What's the problem with jogging on New Year's Eve?
The ice falls out of your drinks!
10 of 34
I love when they drop the ball in Times Square ...
... It's a nice reminder of what I did all year.
11 of 34
Knock knock. Who's there? Abby.
Abby who? Abby New Year!
12 of 34
My New Year's resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full ...
... with either rum, vodka or whiskey.
13 of 34
What is corn's favorite holiday?
New Ear's Day.
14 of 34
What's a cow's favorite holiday?
Moo Year's Day!
15 of 34
I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year ...
... but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.
16 of 34
At the beginning of this year I made a New Year's resolution to lose 10 pounds ...
... Only 15 more to go!
17 of 34
What is a New Year's resolution?
Something that goes in one year and out the other.
18 of 34
What's the best New Year's resolution?
1080p.
19 of 34
My New Year's resolution is to break my New Year's resolutions.
That way I succeed at something!
20 of 34
What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar on New Year's Eve?
He got 12 months!
21 of 34
An iPhone and a firework were arrested on New Year's Eve.
One was charged and the other was let off.
22 of 34
What did the little champagne bottle call his father?
Pop!
23 of 34
I can't wait till New Year's Day 2021.
Then I can say hindsight is really 2020.
24 of 34
Where can you find comedians on New Year's Eve?
Waiting for the punchline.
25 of 34
Every New Year's Eve, I look forward to a good show at Time's Square ...
... and year after year, they drop the ball.
26 of 34
Let's celebrate New Year's Eve ...
... by making many pour decisions!
27 of 34
I would lose weight for my New Year's resolution ...
... but I hate losing.
28 of 34
What do you call someone named Stephen on Dec 31?
New Year's Steve!
29 of 34
Why was 6 afraid of 9 on New Year's Eve?
Because 9, 8, 7 ...
30 of 34
Who gets the most excited about the New Year's Eve countdown?
Calendar companies.
Hannah Jeon Editorial Assistant Hannah (she/her) is an Editorial Assistant for Good Housekeeping, where she covers content and strategy across GH's social media platforms including Instagram, TikTok, Facebook and Twitter.
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Source: https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/holidays/g30082216/best-new-years-jokes/
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